Updated: Oct 10, 2019
(Guest Post by Jane Gichingiri)
According to an article in Psychology Today, Self-esteem can influence one's life in various ways. It can determine one's ability to reach their full potential. And that is the amazing power of self-perception.
Your self-esteem can charter the course of your life.
The way we perceive ourselves and our abilities is fashioned over time by our experiences, our upbringing, and our environment.
Depending on what has happened to us in our lives, we can be left feeling just not good enough, and our belief in our abilities can derail us, keeping us stuck in our negative self-talk.
But, don’t despair. You can beat negative self-talk and lack of self-confidence by practicing the following power ideas.
You can achieve self-actualization and increase your self-esteem by addressing the following issues.
Detox Your Relationships
Sometimes, we lack self-confidence because we have been in bad relationships for so long.
It may be some unfortunate childhood circumstances that lead us down to this self-loathing path where we feel we are just not good enough.
Unfortunately, we cannot choose our parents, siblings, or our families.
But as grownups, we can distance ourselves from people who make us doubt our self-worth and self-esteem.
Do you have friends who boost their self-worth by putting you down?
Some moms’ friends, for example, can be hard on your self-confidence sometimes.
It is okay for moms to be proud of their children’s achievements for example.
The problem may be when you feel yours are not as great.
This may lower your self-esteem, and you may doubt your mothering skills.
Moms will come and tell you how little Johnny walked at 9 months and if your little Suzy is still crawling at 10 months you start to doubt yourself as a mother.
Oh, and when they are all grown up and becoming, and a friend is all in your ear telling you about their son in med school while yours dropped out, then you feel terrible as a parent and start to doubt yourself.
Are you a good mother, really? This can be a great self-esteem downer.
But not all people can or should go to college. There are other ways of self-actualization.
And all babies achieve their milestones at their own pace.
You decide if there are people in your life who dim your light and make you feel less confident.
Let them go. Or just distance yourself.
So, detox these people out of your life. Unfollow people on social media if they leave you doubting yourself.
Your self-esteem and mental health are paramount.
Have Some Boundaries to Boost Your Self Esteem
Don’t let family and friends cross the line and abuse your self-worth.
Set boundaries to protect your mental health.
If people are always misusing your time, or your property, find the courage to say no.
Don’t do things for people just so that they will think you are nice.
Equally important, if someone does something that offends you, talk to them about it.
Speak up for yourself and let people know there are some things you just won’t accept.
This shows you respect yourself and others will too when you don’t let them step all over your toes.
People generally don’t respect you if they feel you don’t respect yourself either.
Practice Self- care
Self-care is so important for boosting you're self -worth and your confidence.
Self-care is sometimes just simple things that you take time to do every day or occasionally that makes you feel happy.
Don’t be rushing all day long doing things for people without ever taking time for you.
Moms have a hard time with this.
Mumming all day long is exhausting.
Take time to sit down and unwind. Read a good book, watch a movie, do something that makes you happy.
Have a babysitting swap with a friend and go do something fun for yourself occasionally.
When you do even small things that make you happy, it increases your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence.
Start practicing self-care and soon you will find you start to love yourself more, thus boosting your self-esteem.
As you may have heard, self-care is not selfish, it is necessary. Healthy self-esteem requires self-care. Find more ways to practice self-care here.
Learn New Things
Knowledge is powerful. Sometimes a new skill is a great antidote to feeling unconfident.
So, think of one thing you have always wanted to know or learn and study it, learn it, perfect it.
This will boost your self-esteem.
And the best part is as you learn and feel good, you will want to learn other things.
That sense of accomplishment is uplifting and will boost your self-esteem.
You will feel pride in this success and with time your confidence will grow and grow.
Remember, success builds on success. Knowledge is a great confidence booster.
So, enroll in that class and feel the power of knowledge.
Be Kind to Others
It is proven. It works! If you want to boost your self-confidence, help someone in need.
Volunteer at the homeless shelter, take part in your church volunteer program and do something good for someone else.
Contribute to a charitable cause.
This shifts the focus from you to someone else and soon you start to see yourself in a different light. You will feel better about yourself.
The gratitude of the ones you help shifts the focus for you and you love who you are and self-esteem soars.
Oh, the woe of comparison! It is the rabbit hole you don’t want to go into
You can lose your self-confidence quite quickly as you start to compare yourself to this and that person.
You can feel that you fall way short especially in the modern world where we all have our sparkling life on display.
Remember, most of what people post on social media is what they want you to see.
They, for the most part, won’t show you when they are at their lowest, especially on Instagram.
For those in the online money-making space comparing can be crushing.
Someone is making 100K in one month. Holy Smoke! But hey, don’t fret. They may not be telling the whole story.
Again, don't compare your beginning with someone's middle. You probably have heard this before, but it is worth repeating.
They probably have been doing online stuff for a while and you are just starting to learn every overwhelming bit about the business.
You do you! Learn what you need to do. Take your time if you need to.
Life is not a race. Have goals. Work on them. And you will get there eventually.
Dress for Success
There is something about looking good that somehow transforms us internally. It makes us feel confident. This can lead to increasing our self-esteem.
So, if you think that you have a struggle in buying or putting together great outfits, get some help.
Don't dress frumpy all the time.
Somehow looking great in your clothes not only makes you feel good, but it also empowers you, and this is such a great confidence booster.
When you feel good about yourself and thus empowered, you tend to believe more about your ability and so you can be that go-getter who gets things done.
It is amazing, but there is power in that power suit.
Clean up, groom yourself. Dress well, and you will feel so much better, and more likely to go after what is important to you.
Accept Compliments Gracefully
Okay! I get it. You want to be modest and not bragging.
That’s is fine and dandy, but its time you own your greatness. If someone gives you a compliment graciously accept it.
You can add a twirl if you want, you know, to get in the groove of owning your swag.
Practice makes perfect and soon enough you will start feeling that yes, you do look great, or you did something splendidly. Step out and step forth confidently. You can do it. You can own that greatness.
Visualize a Confident You
There is a lot of power in knowing what you want.
To really achieve your goals, visualizing this accomplishment helps you push yourself to achieve it.
Do you, for instance, wish you could be a great public speaker? Watch others, practice and then Visualize you speaking to a live adoring audience. Yes, you can do it!
Visualizing that greatness will lead to great self-esteem.
Turn off the Inner Critic; Turn on Self Love.
Yes, love your whole self, flaws and all.
Real people are not flawless.
We all tend to be too critical of our own foibles, looks, and abilities.
That needs to stop. I must say again that you must accept yourself as you are.
Granted there may be areas you need to improve to truly shine. So, do that self-improvement.
But stop the needless yearning to change and criticizing yourself for things you can’t change.
If you are big boned, likely you will never be truly skinny.
And you may have a part of your body that bugs you. If you can't change it. Learn to accept it.
Practice looking in the mirror and telling yourself you are beautiful, and awesome just as you are.
You accept yourself and others will and if they don’t, shut them up by strutting your stuff regardless.
Confidence can be practiced and learned, and that is one way to massively increase your self-esteem.
Change Bad Habits
Some habits indeed must be kicked to the curb for you to be truly the confident person you can be.
You have heard that you can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.
If you have bad habits that are wrecking your life, it is hard to be confident.
Perhaps you have a habit of eating the wrong things all the time. You may be causing yourself unnecessary discomfort mentally emotionally as a result as you see the scale trending up.
Sometimes we self-sabotage through bad practices we have adopted. So, give yourself an ultimatum to change whatever may be holding you back. This step by step guide can help you stay the course informing healthy habits.
Let’s face it. When you eat nutritious food, you tend to feel great, and look great. Plan on nutrient-dense foods that support your mental health as well as your total wellbeing.
Research is showing that diet can affect mental health. So eat for your brain as you would eat for your heart.
So, if you are anemic, or deficient in some nutrients like magnesium, vitamin D, omega three, the B vitamins and many more you are likely to feel sluggish even depressed. Hard to be the go-getter you can be.
And that is bound to wear your confidence down.
But when your body is nourished, and you exercise, you only drink responsibly, you sleep enough, you feel fabulous, and it shows. This boosts your self-esteem by leaps and bounds.
So, shun bad habits and you will shine, will be unstoppable, and riding on great self-confidence, and on self-esteem high.
Set Smart Goals
They say Rome was not built in a day. So, there are things you need to accomplish to move your life forward? You want to succeed in something. You have a vision for greatness.
So, start laying the foundation of that greatness now. Start planning. Set Smart Goals.
This means your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely.
When you set smart goals, you are bound to succeed. And with success comes skyrocketing confidence.
This success will boost yourself esteem exponentially.
Clean and Organize
Practice keeping an organized living space as well as other areas of your life. A clean well-organized house eases the mind and boosts your happiness. Really, happy people have greater self-esteem.
The ability to keep an organized house and organized life put a spring in your step.
I have never seen a confident hoarder. When you have a clean house, you may want to even socialize more.
Having a good friend and the right people in your life is a confidence booster as well.
Disorganization can wreak havoc in one’s life including eroding self-confidence.
When you have a place for everything, you waste less time looking for things you need.
Less time wasted means more time to do what matters. So clean to self-actualize.
Exercise Will Boost Your Self-esteem
Exercise is great in many ways health wise including for the health of your mind.
Start exercising every day, even just a regular brisk walk is good for you.
Exercise will make your energy soar, and make you feel more positive.
And as your body changes, your self-esteem will also increase.
You will look good, feel good and more confident.
Find Your Zone of Genius.
If you are spending your time doing what other people told you-you should be doing, and it really is not your thing, it is hard to shine and feel proud of your achievement.
So many people live a life for others.
Live for yourself. Don't be pushed to live a false life.
Do what you are good at.
Find that one thing that you feel in your bones it's your thing.
What lights up your soul? This is your zone of genius.
Go after it. Hone it, sharpen it. Perfect it.
This is an amazing confidence booster when you do what you are good at and are passionate about.
Own it and execute it. It will be easier to excel because you are passionate about it, and as you excel, the pride and joy and confidence will naturally follow.
Talk of a self-esteem booster!
So, no more going about your life with shoulders rounded, head in the sad, feeling less than. Let us change all that. Claim your self-esteem now.
It is time to really live a thriving amazing life.
And there you have it.
There are many ways to cultivate and boost your self-esteem.
Try a few of these tips for a self-esteem booster and see your self-confidence skyrocket and make you unstoppable.
So, go forth and own your greatness.
And as you work to strengthen your self-esteem, keep this quote in mind- "Self-confidence is the first requisite to Great undertakings"- Samuel Johnson.
And you can check more of these confidence-boosting quotes here and start raising that self-esteem.
You were made to shine. Show your genius. You have it, trust me. You can have great self-esteem.
Jane is a health and wellness Blogger. An RN who is passionate about educating women on living a thriving healthy happy life. Jane loves inspiring women to embrace life by adopting a lifestyle that is both spontaneous, fulfilling and healthy in mind and body. When not blogging, which is rare, Jane loves to read inspirational books, fun books, and books that transport her to another realm. At such times and others, she can be spotted wielding a cup of tea- the weapon that keeps her energized, and her spirit in a Zen state. And, yes, she loves to daydream especially on Summer days full of sunshine. Read more of Jane's work on her website, thrivewithjanie.com, where she pours her soul into imparting health and uplifting writing.